Feb 16, 2018


To be clear, I know one of the teachers who survived the most recent school shooting. We chat teacher things via Instagram messages frequently. So as some of you begin rallying around the "don't take our guns" rhetoric in the next few days, remember this.

I teach.

I show up to work everyday, not sure if it will be my last day.

I practice "active shooter" drills with my students several times a year.

I keep my cabinets in my classroom largely empty - not because I don't want to fill them with tons of amazing books and materials my students can use to learn amazing things, but because I want to have places to hide twelve-year-olds.

I don't think about these things everyday. But I do think about them.

Do you deserve the right to own guns when I have to discuss how I will stuff my students into cabinets if someone comes into our school with a gun?

Do you deserve the right to own guns when I spend time EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. comforting students who are scared this will be their last school day due to an active shooting?

Are your wants worth more than the basic human rights and NEEDS of millions of children?

Tuesday is our next day back at school.

On Tuesday, we will be reading poetry.

On Tuesday, I will remind my students I love them enough to put their safety before mine.

On Tuesday I will check to be sure I have enough room in my cabinets for 26 almost-teenage bodies.

Think of me on Tuesday, gun owners.

Jan 21, 2018

Thoughts In The New Year

It's been over two months since I've written much of anything that isn't curriculum for my 7th graders. And I know that blogging has lost some of its shine, and most people are moving away from the medium to a more instant sort of communication, but I miss this space. I miss sharing words, I miss babbling on about knitting, and I miss that it got some of the thoughts out of my head and into a new space where I didn't have to worry about them so much anymore.

Since I began this blog, life has gotten dramatically fuller and more complicated. A husband, two children (one with some special needs), a familial bout with cancer, a move, a new career, and so much more! Where I used to write my way through things, I have found in the past three years or so I've simply put my head down and performed the most basic of tasks to get through my days. And it's been wonderful.

There have been so many joys I haven't shared publicly, and so many wonderful additions to my life. And I don't regret not sharing those. I am making fewer resolutions, setting fewer goals, and finding more time to snuggle and be present in the moment.

All of this, however, does not negate that I miss my fingers tapping across the keyboard. Because I do. Desperately. While I enjoy typing away for school-related reasons, I miss typing away for personal ones as well.

Does all of this mean I will blog more regularly? Who knows. But I did want to stop by, say hello, and acknowledge this space and its existence in my universe.

And to share that I have, in fact, been making things. Hats, more hats, and then some squares to be turned into blankets. The usual. I've got some other projects queued on Ravelry, but we shall see if they ever materialize. I always have grand plans to make shawls and sweaters, but it seems I am a hat maker through and through!

Nov 12, 2017

leaving etsy, updating ravelry, and some time for writing

It's been a long four months (at least) without posting here. Ever since starting my teaching gig, in fact, I haven't spent much time here. But I miss it. And I want to set aside space in my days for writing. No pressure, no focus, not even always about knitting. No goals, no plans. Just me space.

I closed my Etsy shop today. It was time.

I'm going to begin the long and painful (sometimes!) process of updating all of my Ravelry patterns. Re-knitting everything in a select color palette. New photos. A template (thanks to my lovely friend at DeBrosse) to bring everything together. Should be fun.

There's so much I want to document. Surprise family visits. Paring back. Getting back to giving away hats. Figuring out how to live my best life. Sinking into teaching. Today, this felt like a good start. Close one thing, commit to completing and paring back another.

Jun 20, 2017

Now That I’m 40: A Manifesto

Last Tuesday (June 13), I turned 40. It was a magical day, full of Harry Potter and Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley and so much nerding out I could barely contain myself.

Now that I’m back to reality, I’m realizing something. I’m about halfway done with my life. If I’m lucky, I’ve got more than half of it left, but still. Halfway there.

I remember being in my late teens and early twenties, and imagining that by 40 I’d be known globally for all I’d done to change the world. And while the passion to make change is still there, the “globally known” part isn’t. And I’m not sure I’m sad about that, either. I can’t imagine what life would be like with that amount of infamy!!

However. As I look at what I’ve done to make the world a better place, I’m realizing there is so much that I’ve left undone, mostly due to laziness and selfishness. It is far easier to soothe my sadness and frustration with shopping and eating crappy food and watching too much television. I have grown comfortable with being less than I know I can be.

With 40 years under my belt, I’ve decided it’s time for a change. Several changes, actually. I am giving my life singular purpose, under the umbrella THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN. I am going to focus my life with laser-like aim on this. Everything I do will be for the better of the littles – mine, those I know and love, and the millions of children around the globe. In order to do this, I will be altering the way I do life in a few ways.

First, I am becoming a minimalist. Yes, I have a family, and no, I will not be forcing them to follow along. For me, shopping is too easy. I actually probably have a serious problem. So I’m just going to stop. I’m not bringing anything new into my home that’s not necessary, and I’m going to go through what I already have and get rid of what isn’t useful and/or doesn’t bring me joy. I have no idea how long this will take me, considering how much crap I actually have. Where there are gaps? I will just let there be gaps for awhile. In truth, there are no actual gaps, only perceived ones. I have more than enough of everything I could ever need or want.

Second, I’m going through and adjusting the cost of my hat patterns, and will work like mad to get the dozens of unpublished patterns I’ve made notes for out into the world. My patterns will all cost $3 … even the previously free ones, with a select few exceptions. EVERY PENNY I earn on these pattern sales will be donated to build schools through Pencils of Promise. If I truly believe “there is no such thing as other people’s children” then I must begin to live as such. Third, I will not be buying books until I have read every book I own (or gotten rid of it because I never plan to read it). I have almost 700 books at school, many of which I have never read, and about 4 dozen more at home. I have already begun to build a pile of books I know I will never read, or read again, and will be taking those to Half Price Books to sell. All of my classroom books will become my reading material for the foreseeable future. The only exception to this book buying rule will be Golden Sower books each summer.

Fourth, I will not be buying yarn until I have knit or crocheted through every skein I own. I have a room over-full with yarn, and while I may need to get some grey yarn to help me use up bits leftover, I will not be doing that until every full skein of yarn has been used to the smallest degree it can be! Most of the yarn is arylic, and can be used easily for donation hats for homeless folks and oncology wards. I will use the smaller bits for newborn hats, and all the wool yarn will be made into useful items for refugees.

As I use the yarn, I will be writing patterns anytime I make a new design up, and adding the patterns to my Ravelry shop. I will use all the money from pattern sales to fund schools through POP, and will STOP SELLING HATS. All hats will be donated.

This is just a start. I’m excited to see where my new mantra will take me in the next 40 years. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN will become my rally cry, it will become my focus and my calling card. It will be the thing that will shape my life and all that I do. Thank goodness I’m already a teacher, so I don’t have to go back to school, too!!

Jun 12, 2017

Book Lists - From Other Places

There are a few great places to find GLBT reading lists this month ...

First, there's Bustle, which shared a list of 12 essential non-fiction books to read. I thought I'd read a bunch of great GLBT non-fiction in my day, but it turns out I've read NONE of these 12!

Same goes, unfortunately, for the Pride Month Reading List 2016 from the National Book Org. Well, not totally true. I've read ONE book from the YA list - Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda, which is one of my favorite books ever.

The ALA has a great resource page, full of posters and flyers you can download, as well as links to lists of great award-winning books!

All in all, I've got a bunch of reading to do - I've already downloaded a few of these books to my Kindle so I have some good reading on my 40th birthday celebration vacation, and will report back with what I read, and what I loved and why!

Jun 11, 2017

Celebrating The Austins

Every few years, someone I love gets married. And because I am ordained (online) to perform ceremonies, every few years I get the honor of bearing legal witness to the marriages of the people I love.

So when Jon met Kyle, and they started to get serious, and all of us friends started talking about "would they or wouldn't they," I started hoping. And when Kyle got down on one knee and asked Jon to marry him, I started putting bugs in the ears of their wedding party.

And when Wendy asked me to meet her for coffee, and these two were there with a sign that said, "Will you marry us?" I cried, said yes, and got down to business.

Friday was wonderful. It was everything a wedding should be ... two people who love each other, nervous and excited that they are making a legal and public commitment to each other, to share forever with one another.

I didn't cry during the ceremony, which was truly a miracle. Every time I practiced it, I sobbed. As they walked down the aisle hand in hand, I had to dig my nails into my skin to keep the tears at bay. When they got to me, and I looked at them and whispered, "Breathe!" it was for me as much as for them.

I cried as they kissed. I cried as I got to announce for the first time Mr. and Mr. Austin. I cried when they had their first dance. I cried over and over. But not while I married them. Not while they said their vows.

It was an honor. I love love, and I will always marry those I love. Always.

Jun 5, 2017

GLBT Books I've Read Recently

Here are five of the books I've read in the last year. One (Requiem), represents the entire series. Which means seven.

I've read seven books in the last year that have GLBT characters in them.

Of these eight, two were written expressly ABOUT GLBT characters and their lives. The other five had GLBT characters in the books, although the books themselves did not follow these characters as main characters.

In total, I wasn't expecting GLBT characters in five of these books. I was super amazingly pleasantly surprised to find these GLBT characters, and their presence made me think.

That YA authors are adding GLBT characters to their books, not as a statement or a main character, but as a friend, someone who we see and we get to know and we fall in love with even as their story arch doesn't make or break the main characters? This feels like progress to me.

Only in the Delirium series (represented here by Requiem) is there a conversation about the character's being GLBT, and what the main character thinks of it. And this is a dystopian series where the main character has been raised in an extremely closed and structured environment, and her commentary on the GLBT characters serves to show how she has realized just how gross and wrong her upbringing truly is.

In Every. Other. Case. the GLBT characters are just ... there. In the same way that every other character is just ... there. No discussion needed. No precursor to meeting the character. No questions about the legitimacy of the character.

This is NOT something I saw growing up. This is not something I saw much of in my 20s. This is something that has begun to occur only in the last few years.


And yes, we need more books where the GLBT characters take center stage. Of course we do. My students need to be able to pick up books and have the main characters be GLBT and have there be no questions.

SO much still needs to be done. But these books? And their characters? Feel like victories to me.

Books Featured (affiliate links):

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo
One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva
The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli
Delirium Trilogy Collection Lauren Oliver 3 Books Set (Delirium, Pandemonium, Requiem) by Lauren Oliver
Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia